Not all Ducklings are Ugly

Posted in Judy Fraser passed away Christmas 2018, quietly, at home with her family. She will be much missed by many.

Are you turning into a beautiful swan and growing up or still behaving like a demanding needy toddler who has tantrums if they don’t get their own way?  Are we sulking because things are not as we think they should be?  We’re being invited to grow up but will we?  Now is the time to reflect on our plans - and  where we need to make adjustments so as to re-frame our goals and to clarify our commitments so as to accommodate all, and not just ourselves. 

Notice how in our life certain things that we have been stuck within will suddenly feel like they are moving forward again, especially as they relate to committed relationships or friendships, even if we are unsure what our attention is being drawn to now is showing us as yet.  For the past years we have been under certain relationship pressures and challenges.  Now finally we are sorting through the confusion and the pressures without adding or aiding the dramas that have been created through, or by the past.  For me, for many years,  my children were my prime focus and just this weekend I understood that in spite of me personally having felt disempowered in childhood they are all personally empowered and free, successful wonderfully centered beings, and for that I’m so very grateful. Time to get off their case after a sojourn of years and only input if asked.  Of course we are all a part of the human family yet only by working on ourself and those within our immediate circumstances do we begin to affect members of  the extended family on a take it if it is helpful, leave it if it is not basis.   And our family changes form to focus on the people we currently live with and connect to.

For many we have had mirrored back to us where our limitations lay.  It is to easy to overcompensate for our personal experience and as a result unwittingly disempower another.   I personally used to feel disempowered when others thought they knew what was required and told me forcibly one thing or something else entirely which was their ‘bag’ but which felt irrelevant and disrespectful to me.  Their perceived knowledge so forceful it was at the point of bullying or being bossy when they had no knowledge of the full circumstances.  As a result I can and did for years feel disempowered, saddened and excluded.  Learning to be compliant must not completely negate personal skills, experience and knowledge.  We all see things through the lens of our experiences and unless we realize these differ vastly one from another we cannot comprehend others ways of being, we only see our own. When this happens the atmosphere  that surrounds people and places puts you straight back in disempowerment and we to easily respond from old points of reference rather than realizing we are where we are now.

Only by reenacting a scene that is not yet healed within can we update and upgrade and decide to do things in a different manner from now on. Alternatively we may have been so saturated that we just don’t involve ourself anymore and as a result separation occurs.  If one has solved their status and another has not they will  follow different paths anyway like it or not.   One needing to meet the same situations again, the other moving on to experience other things.  Humility is key.   This is why we have to have mirrored to us scenes from our past before we are able to find out what is for us and what belongs to another. Only then can we let go of old hurt, resentment or pain if there is a charge then we are not free or mature. If there is no charge or we have created  a monopoly we will be left to learn a harder lesson in different circumstances.  If we have the courage to surrender, forgive and let go our own dogma are we finally ready to move forward free of our past. It takes courage and a willingness to be brutally honest within ourselves as to the pros and cons of previous events for we must understand where we are now, before we can move into the next phase as  a more whole and a wiser evolving being.  Then we can be bullied no more and we are able to meet all as equals but honor those who have standards and street credibility of years standing.  We are then in a place where we recall even deeper levels of being.  It will still be difficult to work with but it helps to have a better understanding of the mechanics of the process.  Only at this stage do we potentially become a part of a solution, until this time we too easily add to old problems.

Internal changes release some major jolts that allow for more mental clarity for those who are ready to access it.  Old anger and frustration is best released through breath work, walking, exercise, music, art and movement or by expressing it through shouting, beating a mattress, drama or diary writing.  What best suits us works as we lay old circumstances to rest once and for all.  

The telepathic power of thought must be followed through by careful understanding that all are at differing stages of evolvement and only through gentle kindly communication are we empathetic. Even when we disagree with the policy of another otherwise we only favor our own limited view! We are gifted through observing but we must then pitch our presentation at a realistic and comprehensive level.  The arrogant teacher, healer or therapist who ‘knows they know and implies you do not will not last as long in the general market place, as those who come across them will decide they would rather keep the dis-ease they have, rather than being torn asunder at the hands of another.   They may speak nicely but unless their core is kind, compassionate and truly concerned they do more harm than good. It is hardly humble not to allow others we trust to comment on our own status is it?  If asked it is fine to input, then we must be kind but honest in our observations,  otherwise we keep quiet or feed back what they have already said.  When we are asked to work as a part of a team we may well bicker and disagree amongst ourselves until we come up with a policy that suits all comers.  Only when we find our place within the new grouping will we be trusted and honored.  When and if we get that formula as good and effective as  it needs to be are we able to continue to make progress.   

Our soul time codes are now enabling an integration of past gifts into present space.  When they begin to make entry they are surrounded with ancient knowledge,  but also ancient history which we patiently work through in order to find our pathway forward.  Hard enough within an individual but when we negotiate partner, family and community group challenges they get progressively harder. Time codes represent destiny and assists evolution,  our own and that of others.  If we prove successful in the cleansing of  our own path regardless of if we are a school teacher or a gardener, a yogi or a part of a family of saints then all are free to proceed.  A teacher of mine said “never be in to much of a hurry to move on, learn your lessons well in the group you are attached to now, or you will never manage the bigger groups to come”.  I was not impressed at the time!  But over the years as I became a part of bigger groups would his words came back to me time and again.  Our next step may start as a transcendental experience but it must become a part of the human daily round so we have to work to do to integrate it and find solutions that serve the Earth.  Often only when we look back do we see how far we have travelled.  We need to be willing to change and be changed before we can proceed.

Watch, listen and feel for only by observing what we don’t want to associate with will we find our next pathway.  We must serve in those areas where we consider others are being unjustly treated to find new commitment through personal experience.   Being spiritual minded does not keep us out of trouble, if fact if we are good we may well find more than we ever bargained for as we move into larger fields of service.  But we will need to be able to maintain more detachment in our dealings and discern (sometimes) instantly what or who is a part of our next remit.  It is never an escape from life, nor it should not be.  It does not separate us but we may find it more difficult to find our place in the coming times of transition.  

There are not so many to associate with as we climb the ladder so we must assure ourselves that we are safe, that others are comfortable so that goodwill and good humor is assured.  Our way of dealing with issues differs from those of others so we do not tell others how to behave, it disempowers us and them if we do.  What we do do is go within and be with ourself and our soul until we are sure how to be ourself in new circumstances.  Then we externalize that state and see if it works around others or not.  If it too much or too little, effective or dogmatic.  If it works, great, if not then it is back to the drawing board to try again (and maybe again) until our heart is cleansed and our motive purified.  We can be sure our next status will be suited to us and us to it.  That involves us learning our subject with thoroughness,  comprehensive negotiation and then being willing to use our skills to the benefit of all.